Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful

December 23 , 2004

Ho Ho Ho.

I’m fairly certain I’m one of 5% of people who live in the state of Michigan that actually enjoys the weather. We got about six inches of snow last night, and I couldn’t be happier. There really is no comparison to a naturally white Christmas. Something I don’t understand, though, is how people seem to forget how to drive whenever there’s a little bit of snow on the ground (yes, 6 inches is a little bit of snow where I live). Some folks seem to think there are no changes to the consistency of the road surface this time of year. I wave at those people when they’re stuck in a ditch. By far, truckers are the worst. They seem to think that because they have 18 wheels, they can run right up on you in this kind of weather. I also wave at them when they’re stuck in a ditch. Use some common sense, people – and slow the F down.

I’m sure a lot of folks are really starting to settle in as far as their online gaming plans for the near future. And it seems like folks are really entrenched in their various camps. Some folks think World of Warcraft is the third coming of UO (EQ being the second coming, of course) and are defending it blindly no matter what. Some folks think EverQuest 2 is a lot like the Sony PlayStation in 1996. Anyone remember that? How could Sony *possibly* compete with Sega and Nintendo? How can EQ2 possibly compete with EQ1 and WoW? Well, they do have their dedicated following, and many folks will also defend that game with all its promise and flaws. And then, you have the meat and potatoes of the MMO world – EverQuest 1. Oh the joy to be able to say you’ve been there through DAoC, you’ve been there through Asheron’s Call, you’ve been there through Anarchy Online, through Neverwinter Nights, through Shadowbane, through Lineage2, through City of Heroes, and now you’re a grizzled vet of the onslaught of new games, standing firm in the face of the newer, younger buck trying to take over your spot as king of the mountain.

You know what gets lost in all this? What about those friendships you’ve made over the past five years playing these games? This is a disturbing trend I’ve seen lately. Any time someone, be it a long-time guildmate or just a long-time friend, decides they want to explore some other options as far as online gaming go, they’re virtual outcasts. They’re no longer welcome in the circle like they were. Let’s face it – are you going to bend over backwards for someone who doesn’t play the game you do as often as you do? I mean, why should you help them if they’re not totally committed to your game and your cause?

Because they’re your friends, and that’s what friends do.

It’s amazing to me how many friendships seem to end at times like this. You have people who were as close as you could be without being in each others pants, all of a sudden they split off, never to speak again, because one person’s bored and one person’s not. Let me explain something very simple to anyone who thinks “omg he’s talking to me” – if you’re playing an online game for anything other than the fun of the game, you need to stop playing NOW. For me personally, I’ve done my time (I sound like an ex-convict with that line, I know). I’ve negotiated guild mergers, I’ve balanced egos, I’ve recruited strangers, and I’ve watched friends leave. I’ve been through a lot in my 5 years of EQ, much like many others have, and I’ve met a lot of great people in my tenure. What probably hurts me the most is that if I had played EQ for the next 5 years, we would never stop being friends, but because I choose to spend my gaming time elsewhere, now I’m the enemy.

This is sort of an extreme example, and I use “I” a lot, but I don’t mean that in the possessive way. I am thankful to have so many really good friends who transcend games with me, who make things entertaining and who support me no matter my decisions. I’m speaking for the silent majority who feel betrayed by their friends, their “guild family,” and whoever else they spent time with in EQ because they choose to spend time elsewhere. I’m here to say that these are the same people who spent all that time with you for the weeks, months, some even years prior. Just because they spend time outside of EQ doesn’t mean they hate you, doesn’t mean they don’t respect you, doesn’t mean they’re trying to hurt you. But, when they try to balance time between where they’re going and where they’ve been, you scorn them. You treat them like second-rate citizens. You keep them out of your running circles. You act as if they stole your favorite DVD and they don’t deserve to be in your presence.

Over a game?

Let’s keep it real here people – EQ is not going to last another 5 years. EQ’s had a phenomenal run. I’ve given up many things over the past 5 years, and I’ve received many blessings over the past 5 years. What will you do when EQ is done and gone? What will you do when you’ve burned the bridges with the folks who left before you, and now you’re left with venturing into a new game without those friends you KNEW you could count on?

Reality check – nobody leaves EQ because they hate someone. You can always get around that, just change servers and don’t say anything. It’s the easiest way to resolve any kind of EQ-related issue. Human nature won’t usually allow that though, you just gotta tell someone who you once were. Nobody that has decided they’re done with EQ had done so because they have a problem with you – they have a problem with the game. EQ has become so slanted towards the high end that smaller guilds are blowing up like never before. There’s a MAJOR gap between the have’s and the have not’s, and that gap continues to grow. We have plate classes in our guild at 65 that have less hp’s than wizards at 70. This is a problem. We have 65 clerics who have smaller mana pools than 70 rangers. This is a problem. And it’s frustrating the hell out of some players, many to the point of leaving.

But it’s absolutely vital to remember – nobody quits EQ because of the people. They quit because of the game.

I would love to say in 5 years that I’m playing with the folks I was playing with 2 years ago, but I know that’s not practical. Heck, right now I have friends on 2 EQ2 servers, 5 WoW servers, and 2 EQ1 servers – and that’s just the ones I know about. There’s no way for me to possibly be able to keep up with all of them, but I do what I can to keep in touch with them. I write emails, I write posts, and I send Christmas cards. Generally speaking, I’ve always believed that your true friends will keep in contact with you no matter what. If after you leave (a guild, a game, the reference works on many levels) you don’t hear from someone, you were probably just a guildmate to them, never really a friend. I know that’s hard to say, and maybe that’s shortsighted of me, but that’s why you all love me so much. I spent almost 3 years not talking with my father before I recognized that it was important to me to keep that relationship going, or to at least rekindle it. If it’s important to you, take that step. If it’s not, well, be thankful for what you have. But don’t think that they left EQ because of you – they left because of the game.

I intend to play EQ for as long as there are people I care about to play EQ with. I intend to play WoW for as long as there are people I care about to play WoW with. I intend to play my PlayStation for as long as there are people I care about to play my PlayStation with. I intend to do many things with my life, and the only way it will be truly fulfilling is to be able to do these things with the people I care about.

There was a time in my life that EQ was life. Now, EQ is not life. Friends are life. Family is life. God is life. But not EQ. Everyone who reads this, you are life. Not EQ. I will not allow EQ to dictate who my friends are. I am in control of that. My friendship with you, if it means anything, will outlast EQ. If it doesn’t, then it was fun adventuring beside you for all these years, but now it’s time for us to part.

Because EQ is not life. Life is life.